Early in the morning of this election day, R. Glenn Hubbard, the architect of Romney’s economic plan and the most likely Secretary of the Treasury in a Romney administration, took time out of his busy speaking and advising schedule to answer 2 carefully selected letters from our readers of The Imperial.
Dear Mr. Hubbard,
Thank you in advance for responding to my letter. I appreciate the unfettered access to the brains behind the tax plan that will get our country back on track. Lately, my husband seems distracted when we are having sex. I’m starting to wonder if he’s cheating on me. We’re having sex as often as we ever do, but he does nothing to “lubricate” me or to make sure I’m “satisfied.” I’m blushing as I write this. It’s hard to talk about. I don’t know, his mind just seems elsewhere. Any advice on how I can get to the bottom of this without seeming paranoid?
Dry in Dayton
I seriously doubt it’s anything to be concerned about. You’re not lubricating because of your paranoia. There’s more to do for him than you realize to bring his attention back to you. The more generous you are to him, the wetter you’ll be. Ever think about that? Why don’t you greet him when he comes home with an apple pie? Find a way to give more of yourself. It also could be possible that you’re not doing enough around the house to show your inspiration. He’s probably tired after a long day at work. Why don’t you just spit on yourself? Give it your best shot!
Look, I needed to make some money quick and I had this engagement ring that I pretty much knew was junk. It wasn’t mine. I found it in this car I borrowed until I had to unload due to suspicion. Still, I sold it to this poor guy who had told me he had been saving for months to buy this ring for his girlfriend. I lied about having it appraised, gave him some documents that this chick I date made up. But, it’s not my fault he fell for it, right?
Capitalist in Camden
You had me at “Look”. Ha, ha. Ahhh, I have a sense of humor but indeed it is lost on most people. Let me share with you a little parable: There once was a young, ambitious economic strategist who really wanted to be a country singer. But the closest he ever came to performing was giving talks in which he was paid a lot of money to represent the interest of large corporations. He got so good at performing, that he even testified on their behalf when he was presented with the amount he would make for having done so. Now, does that make him a bad person? I wouldn’t know because I don’t think about it. And you shouldn’t either.